The Extremely Strange Diary of Hatsune Mikuo
by MewLen
Summary: Hatsune Mikuo's VocaLife seems perfection, with a giant mansion and pop diva sister, It really isn't like that.   It's absolute chaos. BoyxBoy
1. My Very Shitty Life

**A/N: KAY. This is my first fanfiction so it would be considered amateur or something. Feel free to flame. And I will cry. I do not own Vocaloid or anything related. **

**WARNING: There is a certain ****Meiko Sakine**** in the story which means this is immediately T rated.**

~ The Extremely Strange Diary of Hatsune Mikuo ~

Dear ESD (Extremely Strange Diary),

You probably don't know me. I'm Hatsune Mikuo. This entry is about myself, solely. I guess.

My sister is pop diva Hatsune Miku and she's so weird that a flying pig with unicorn shoes wouldn't compare.

SERIOUSLY.

I live in a really gigantic mansion which is so-huge-I-got-lost-in-my-bedroom. I'm serious about that too. I live with all the other Vocaloids and related which immediately means everyday is extremely strange and chaotic.

My life is actually very very terrible.

My sister has the master bedroom, of course. Because she's the main breadwinner and stuff and one of the house problems is that she has this "dog".

At least she calls it a dog.

It's named Shiteyan'yo and it looks more like a bodiless Miku with pigtails as legs. It looks NOTHING like a dog and its really freaky. And vicious.

Miku's extremely fond of it and dedicated a song to it.

She never dedicated a song to me. Which is really sad.

Shiteyan'yo terrorizes everyone daily.

I have a pet too. It's named "Hachune Miku" and I got it for my birthday from Miku herself. She say it's a turtle named after her but with the Hatsune changed to Hachune to avoid copyright.

Its completely USELESS. All it does is sit in the tank all day waving leeks with a dumb expression on its extremely chubby face. It doesn't look like a turtle. More like a deformed Miku, really.

Its staring at me right now like a dumbass waving its stupid leek.

Is it a female or male? I wonder. But I will never bother to find out.

So..that's it about me. I'm currently chewing on a leek and drawing a very bad portrait of Miku.

She looks like Sweet Ann's boxart in this thing.

UGGGGGGGHHHHHHH. I better head off to sleep.

BWWWEEEEHHHHHHHHH.

-Mikuo


	2. BRORAPE!

**A/N: WARNING! : There's a certain ****Meiko Sakine ****in this story so this is immediately T rated. BTW, there's BL in this chapter therefore highly not recommended for homophobes. **

Dear ESD,

Today at breakfast, Meiko almost destroyed poor Haku AGAIN, trying to kill her with a stapler. Of course, it took ten people to get her off and get the stuff that makes her sober into her mouth.

But of course, Meiko is NEVER sober so that's impossible.

This afternoon at practice, Shiteyan'yo attempted to steal Kaito's stock of vanilla ice cream (again) and he chased the stupid creature around with some hammer and hit me accidentally on the head. It still kinda hurts. I fucking hate Shiteyan'yo for a reason you know.

So yeah. Chaos.

THE WORST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME ALL DAY WAS….

DUN DUN DUN.

Ok, this is PERSONAL.

REALLY PERSONAL.

YOU CANNOT TELL ANYONE IN THE HISTORY OF VOCALOIDS OR WHATEVER.

Of course, you're a book so you can't.

But after supper I saw Rin confessing to Akaito.

That moment, I felt like chopping Rin's head off with a axe or drive over her with that dumb yellow roadroller.

Everyone who's not in the Vocaloid industry or my life would think Mikuo x Rin is FOREVER and I would be jealous of Akaito because he has Rin confessing to him instead of me or something.

But…

Whenever nowadays, I'm around Akaito, my heartbeat goes really, really fast and my breathing goes all heavy and stuff and I'm blushing way too much.

Okay..so this is the worst thing I've discovered in my life. EVER.

I..I..

I think I'm in love with my best mate.

FUCK. THAT'S JUST..WRONG?

OH SHIT MEIKO'S COMING TO CHECK IF I'M IN BED. BYE.

-Mikuo


	3. Why My Entries Stink

**A/N: I do not own anything of Vocaloid or related.**

Dear ESD,

Today was kinda chaotic again so it would be kind of "boring" to write about. But I have some good news.

So far, my diary entries have been short for a reason. It's because of Master.

Okay, so a few years back, everyone in the VOCALOID household could sleep whenever they like and sometimes we had parties that lasted till' two in the morning and everyone would be passed out and someone not drunk would have to call the Master who lives six blocks away from us to come reboot everyone.

Master got kind of sick of it so now everyone has to go to bed at TEN.

TEN'O CLOCK.

Everyone scoffed. Pretty absurd. Everyone thought like: "NO WAY GONNA HAPPEN DUUUDEEE." But of course, Master made sure Meiko checked that everyone went to sleep by bribing her with eight beer bottles per day. So now if you're NOT ASLEEP BY TEN and Meiko just randomly walks in, she screams at you and smashes your head with a beer bottle.

I'm always writing entries at last minute before bedtime so now I think I should write an hour' before bedtime, right after Family Time which is half an hour after dessert.

Family Time is this thing that Miku came up with to "bond" with everyone, which of course doesn't work.

Basically, everyone sits in the living room and tries talking to VOCALOIDs you've never ever spoken to. Ever.

Since there are so many VOCALOIDs, yeah, it's difficult. I tried talking to Lola yesterday but she had this weird accent and was speaking English which I'm not the greatest at. I tried SeeU today, but her Japanese stinks and that Korean accent made everything hard to hear.

So me and Akaito just..paired up?

I WAS REALLY HAPPY. LIKE REALLY HAPPY. HAPPEHH.

I'm like a teenage girl in love. But I'm a boy. And I haven't exactly came out of the closet yet.

Now I feel gross.

ANYWAY, today Akaito asked me to come to the movies with him on Saturday (with Rin which is unfortunate).

I COULD SING! Except that the fact that it's 9.59 OMMG I BETTER GET TO SLEEP.

SCOOTLES.

-Mikuo


	4. Len's a Pervert!

**A/N: ME NO OWN VOCALOID OR ANYTHING RELATED**

Dear ESD,

I did the worst dare EVER.

Me and my best friend almost KISSED.

Hachune Miku DID SOMETHING.

That was my day. Let's start with the dare:

I went into Len's room.

You may think that's perrrrfectly harmless to go into a weirdo blonde boy's room but its NOT. I got EYERAPED today. So did Kaito, I guess.

So me, Miku, Rin, Neru and Kaito were playing Truth & Dare after practice this afternoon. Neru, being the jackass she is, double dared me and Kaito to go to Len's room. She was smiling rather knowingly and creepily but me and Kaito, who's always oblivious, didn't exactly care. We all thought (at the time) Len's bedroom would probably be filled with weird figurines and stuff.

It WAS filled with figurines. But not the kind of figurines young boys usually liked. It was filled with countless posters as well, but not the kinds you think Len would have up on his wall. And the manga: AGGGHHHHHH.

Len is TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH KAITO.

We all know Len is hot and mysterious and cool, I guess. He has millions of fangirls and some of our household members even have crushes on him. But guess who Len loves? KAITO.

The figurines were kinda hot though.

*Pimpslaps myself* EW NO.

Poor Kaito was all flustered and red. Hello? There's a whole room full of himself. And the doujinshis (well at least the covers)were the worst. I never knew Len was such a pervert.

AND THEN the man of the hour just haad to walk in and see me and Kaito gaping at his very blue room. He was all like:

"I-i-I'm sorry, Kaito-nii!"

And Kaito was:

"L-l-len…don't be u-u-upset!"

And Kaito started crying.

ARGH.

When Kaito cried, Len was all:

"ITS YOUR FAULT MIKUO!"

He chased me for nine blocks non-stop with a giant plushie banana. That perverted bastard.

Kaito actually forgave Len. Then they made out in Len's room for thirty minutes. Neru was laughing so hard, snot came out of her mouth. I never knew robots had snot.

Akaito had a "talk" with me today.

He says we have been kind of distant from each other lately and wanted to get close again. I blushed bright red and he leaned even closer to me.

"What is it, Mikuo?" He said, as he felt my forehead. "Are you sick? Why are you red?"

Our lips were inches apart. He SNIFFED me.

My heart was beating so fast I could just have died there. Suddenly, Akaito turned red as well. He was saying:

"Are you blushing because.." or something like that before..

THEN MEIKO BURSTED IN.

She was drunk again and she just…UGH THAT BASTARD.

I almost got to kiss my best mate and man crush when she just BURSTED IN LIKE THAT. My door broke into a million pieces.

Not being sexist or anything, but how can a woman break a door down with just a punch?

"BEWARRRRRRRRE LEN X KAITOO I SMEELLL IT!" or "KILLLLLLLL THE UNNNICCORNS" I CAN'T REMEMBER BUT MEIKO DID SAY SOMETHING.

She then waddled out of the room and the most amazing thing happened.

Hachune Miku jumped out of the tank, fixed the door in a flash of light, and went back to its usual habitat waving leeks again.

So today, I found out Len and Kaito are gay. I almost kissed a guy. And found out a use for Hachune Miku.

Good or bad?

-Mikuo


End file.
